Trip to Jersey after Refit

20 Dec 2004

The morning of Thursday 8th April brings with it uncertainty.  The trip to Beaulieu and the Scilly Isles, (which was going to be the proper maiden voyage for Mystere, her new co-owners and crew) had to be abandoned, as the re-fit was unable to be completed in time.  To say Guernsey is supposed to be a “tropical island” (so long as you look in the right holiday brochures that is, live here and the residents will tell you that it’s not all palm trees, white sands, relaxation and cocktail drinking- my view of tropical!) the recent cold weather meant the exterior work on the boats hull was nigh on impossible due to the temperature.  The minimum of 5 degrees was far off for several important months on the run up to the boat going back in the water, and when it was above 5 degrees it was pouring down with rain and blowing a gale at the same time, making any sort of outdoor activity more than a challenge!

Eventually, all was ready for the new maiden voyage….this time to the not so distant island of Jersey!  It should have been apparent from first thing in the morning that the day was not going to go according to plan.  To begin with, Dave was still in limbo as to whether he was going to join in or not.  With this in mind plans ‘B’ and ‘C’ were devised.  Plan B was to go away to Jersey but on Condor and stay in a hotel for a few days and Plan C was to take the boat anyway so as to keep the costs down and not ruin Aidy and Karen’s holiday plans.  However, after much gentle persuasion, Dave decided that he too wanted to go on the trip and the plan was now to leave at 12:30 in order to make best use of the tides.

With this in mind, Dave went out shopping to get everything needed for the boat e.g. flares, whilst Shane and Helen had the task of charts, log books and all important…food.  After several trips around to various shops all the supplies were purchased and Helen had the task of preparing the lunch for everyone.  2 French loaves cut down into individual rolls.  How hard can that be?  As the remainder of the morning flew by, time was quickly running out and things became rushed and hectic.  Bedding was forgotten by Shane, this meant a return trip from one end of the island to the other with only 30 minutes to do it in, and that included helping Dave and his Dad move the boat cradle (which was still sitting in Dave’s front garden and about to kill off a large patch of grass- cause of death- lack of sunlight!) and picking Helen and the food up on the return trip.  By the time Shane reached Helen’s house and everything was literally thrown into the car, time was extremely tight.

The trip to town was slow (I think possibly every slow driver on the Island made it their duty to take exactly the same route as Shane was!) and due to the time, it was decided that Dave, Aidy and Karen were to get the boat out of the mariner and all fuelled up ready to go.  Whilst fuelling, Shane and Helen would load the boat up and once everything safely stowed it would be off to Jersey.  After finding a 10 hour parking space on a Thursday lunch time, (an achievement in itself!), there was next a dash for Shane and Helen across the road arms full of food, duvet, bags and a rather large Easter egg for Dave courtesy of Shane’s Mum!  What everyone driving past must have thought God only knows!

A mad scramble down the steps by Boatworks + and Mystere is off on her trip, under sail (with the main and cruising chute).  Half an hour into the trip and its 1 o’clock and must be lunchtime.  Helen disappears below deck and all that can be heard is muttering, rustling of plastic bags, more muttering (getting louder by this point), zips undoing, more ferreting noises, zips being done back up again (more muttering- this time almost audible from the cockpit!) and all that can be seen from the cockpit when they look down is a small person flying from side to side, bag to bag and the odd air-born plastic bag as the food search continues.  Ten minutes later, the boat is back in order and she emerges empty handed with a look of mild frustration on her face.  The two loaves of French bread that took up probably the best part of 20 minutes to prepare for the crew had been forgotten in her rush to leave the house.  On the plus side, she did remember to bring the bag of junk food!  5 people at lunchtime, no sandwiches (as were promised, which is why no one else made any!), looking ahead to a possible 4- 5 hour sail to Jersey with umpteen bags of crisps, chocolate fingers, and bottled water!  At least the water was remembered, and crisps, however unhealthy do fill a gap!

Other than the distinct lack of food the trip passed quickly and without problems.  Mystere did an average of 7.4 knots all the way, and despite the late, start arrived in St Helier just under 4 hours later, much to the crews’ relief.  The premature arrival however meant that the tide was still a few hours too low to allow access into the main marina, so she was u-turned right in the harbour mouth by skipper Dave, and “landed” behind a rather ‘fat’ French yacht!  After a quick tidy up of ropes, sails, crisp bags and chocolate wrappers it was straight off to get some well deserved nutrition…this was to come in the form of KFC.  This to some may sound a strange request and something slightly healthier or more filling may seem the more obvious choice (especially after eating only crisps and chocolate for lunch!), however, on Guernsey we have no ‘fast food’ restaurants in any shape or form so KFC is actually almost a luxury (OK not luxury, more a ‘treat’!).

The vast choice of KFC meal options was the next issue.  What to chose, what to chose!!  Aidy and Karen decide on 2 meal deals (sensible), Shane and Helen a value bucket and small popcorn chicken, and Dave….a FAMILY bucket, complete with 10 pieces of chicken, 2 bags of fries, and 6 cream eggs.  This one is so large that it comes complete with 4 paper plates and forks!!  The feast begins and goes surprising well.  Reinforcements are called in (in the form of Aidy) to help with the 2 buckets and after much chicken bone debris and licking and wiping of greasy fingers all consider themselves fully fed and watered!

The walk back to the boat is the 2nd healthy part of the day (the sail across being the first- all that music on the way across really takes a toll on the body!) and the tide has come up sufficiently for the gate to be dropped and the marina entered.  Mystere is moved from her temporary mooring to the marina pontoon and E10 becomes her new ‘home’ for the next few days.

An exhausting week leaves the crew wanting to sleep and nothing else…not much of a first days holiday for a group of mid 20 year olds! No pub, no town, not even a beer…just a pillow and duvet!!  This tiredness is broken momentarily by what only can be described as a stampede down the pontoon and finger of which Mystere is moored!  There was then a loud revving of engine and a pleasant swaying motion felt throughout Mystere.  Helen (who is closest to the hatch) sticks her head above deck only to see the back of a rather large motorboat directly in front of her moving away rather quickly.  She comes back down stating that, ‘mmm, I think we have just been hit’, at which point Dave and Shane both leap up and rush for the same gap to go and have a look at what is going on!  They go out and there is much muttering, all that can be heard is the women on the finger apologising for her husband, apparently it was “his first time out this season and he’s a bit rusty”.  He’s more than a bit rusty love, if he can forget that much in a matter of months he really does stand no chance at all of ever being a competent sailor.  I only hope he is a fast learner (i.e. the same speed as he can forget!).  Even if he had forgotten everything he learnt last year, there is no way you go into everything flat out, especially a mooring for goodness sake!  Still, under instruction from Dave, he did manage to moor up next door, and did come across first thing in the morning to once again apologise.  We give him the benefit of the doubt for his lack of knowledge.  He was probably more embarrassed, than Dave and Shane were annoyed that they had been hit.  It was only softly after all, and no damage was done to either boat this was due, the guy told us because ‘my nipper fended us off’!!

Friday morning and it’s a bank holiday.  By the time everyone else is awake, Dave has already been shopping in the search of a towel (he managed to forget his in his rush to get ready).  However, this wasn’t a productive trip to the shop as he emerged from shopping with no towel but has bought everyone an Easter egg!! Cheers Dave!

Just before lunch it’s decided that a hire car would be more of an advantage to get to the afternoons destination of The Living Legend as buses are never on time and frequent enough on Bank holidays, and taxi’s would become ridiculously expensive after a little while!  Straight into town and to the hire car firm that Dave spotted earlier on his travels to get the elusive towel!  Once inside the office (if that’s what you can call it, more a portacabin strapped on the side of a garage!) Helen spots a white board clearly stating that they won’t provide hire cars to anyone under 26 or over 80.  When the guy behind the counter came through, concern was voiced that the oldest member of the party was Dave who was only 25 (and a half is you want to be picky!) to which we were told that this wasn’t a problem and Dave was given a form to complete.  Once this had been done (and Dave and the guy had finished a discussion about how Dave must be a really good technician because he works at Jacksons and has kept his job- unlike the majority of the Jersey technicians who lost theirs after the liquidation of the Five Oaks group, who have now been bought out by Jacksons) the form was collected in and looked over.  No sooner had the guy started reading the form he pointed out that Dave was only 25 (not 26 as was stated on the board!).  I know that Guernsey and Jersey do have their differences with each other, but it is in a joking sense, but really…of all the stupid things to say!  First thing (other than hello), was the fact that Dave was only 25 and was told, ‘that’s fine’.  He did then get told that he would make an exception in our case and ‘it’s only a guideline that the boss makes me follow, however, he does let me use my discretion’.  Stupid man…if he had brains he’d be dangerous!

Citroen Picasso half full of petrol, brand new and the passing shots were, ‘she needs running in for me’ and it’s off to The Living Legend for a game of crazy golf.  On arrival there we realise that they may not do food, its 13:40 and no one has eaten anything at all today yet.  A run back to the car and it’s a quick drive back down the hill we had just driven up to get some food at the pub we passed on the way there.  After the absolute mountain of food (half of which was left and sent back to the kitchen- we should have really asked for a doggy bag!) it was back to The Living Legend and straight into The Experience.  The Experience is basically an interactive museum and goes through the folk law and history of the island, quite interesting (so long as that is your sort of thing…from the reactions obtained, it doesn’t appear to be the sort of thing that appealed to both Dave and Karen.  They seemed to find the whole thing particularly uninteresting).

The crazy golf however, was completely different.  This was fun packed and full of excitement, as can be seen by the photos!  The crazy golf here comprises of 2 different courses, which run around a man-made paper mache ‘mountain’ (in a very lose sense of the word mountain!).  It is actually much, much better than it sounds.  There are a number of waterfalls and the whole thing is surrounded by a moat of water, (another crazy golf hazard!). 

Dave in his eagerness to do well managed to lose 2 balls, one in the water whilst attempting a particularly difficult shot involving a chipping action over a small stream.  This was later discovered as completely unnecessary when Shane pointed out (after the ball had disappeared) that there was actually a bridge that took the ball under the stream! This was more practical yes, but nowhere near so much fun as a projectile green golf ball!!  The 2nd loss of the day was, in Dave’s own words…’I’ve lost my ball in the bush’.  The view of him trying to retrieve his ball was priceless.  All that could be seen was some legs and a backside (complete with builders cleavage!) and the bush swaying as he managed to force himself further and further inside.  Aidy and Karen joined the search but to no avail and a second trip to the kiosk to ask for another green ball was necessary!

Other than the antics of Dave and the normal comedy values of a group playing crazy golf nothing very interesting happened…other than the fact that both Helen and Karen got a hole in one each!!  Notice it was the 2 females that managed this, the male population were more interested in more primitive and juvenile activities…showing off…oh, and friendly rivalry!!<p align=center>       </p>

The overall result and scores in reverse order Dave (80), Aidy (76), Karen (73), Helen (71) and show off himself (Shane with 56)!  The par for the whole course was 54 so all in all we all did pretty good to say none of us are budding Tiger Woods’.

 

 

 

With the day over, history learnt, pancakes eaten (with the wind catching Helen’s and almost catapulting it across the courtyard!), coffee consumed (with the exception of Dave.  He left his sitting in front of him as there was a residue left on the rim from the last female who had drunk from it and let’s just say that the colour wasn’t really Dave!  We did tell him to take it back but he said he didn’t want to make a fuss, so a new tact was taken of Shane telling him to ‘Imagine it’s a really fit blonde then it’ll be OK!), and golf played, it was time to head back, drop the car off and get some well deserved food and beverage!

The trip back to the boat was scenic, we went the long route and Dave insisted on going to the most Southerly point he could find in the car and then ask the next local out walking for directions on how to get to the North coast!!  A middle aged male with his dog was the unsuspecting victim, and proceeded to explain the best route to take!  That’s the last time he takes his dog for a walk without moral support!  He did sound a lovely man (literally) and must have taken a liking to Dave to help him as much as he did!!

After dropping the car back it was back to the boat and off to the Yacht Club.  Due to the obscenely large amounts of food consumed at lunch no one was particularly hungry and the drinking began instead!!  Several drinks and hours later it was off to town for a good night out.  However, like Guernsey, Jersey comes to a standstill with the mention of the word ‘Bank holiday’ and all clubs were closed!  Shane did however manage to convince the employees at McDonalds to give him some free food.  He must have really looked a state; they probably thought he was homeless or something!  There’s this young adult banging on the door of McDonalds begging to be let in because his friends are in there, and all they can do is open the door and give him a few burgers.  They were free of charge so he didn’t mind and in fact found it extremely amusing!

Saturday morning and it was up bright and early.  As this was the last day, it was planned that the most was going to be made of it.  First things first was to get some sustenance inside- this came in the form of the biggest full English breakfast known to man for Aidy, Dave and Shane, and Karen somehow managed to devoir 2 rather substantial scones with jam and cream for starters, followed by a slab of carrot cake.  Where she managed to pack that lot away I don’t know!

After breakfast, come brunch, come lunch, it was shopping time around St Helier and then off to the chandleries for a look around and some final boating bits!  Rather like DIY shops chandleries, you know what’s in there but you go anyway to see if anything new has arrived, spend what seems like 2 hours (long hours at that) aimlessly wandering round with no real intentions in mind only to come out with the plastic card slightly more warn and armfuls of shopping that really isn’t required!!  Typical male behaviour I guess though!

It was then off to the shops to get the food for the trip back home- there was no chance of going without this crossing!  Soup, snacks and box drinks for half way across- something nice and warm and hearty, the trip back was a night one with an ETA in St Peter Port of about 1:00 am! Very cold out to sea at that hour, even without the wind chill factor due to the lack of anything breeze like at all!  But before the off it was a quick dash to Pizza Hut to once more fuel ourselves for the ‘strenuous’ sea passage!

The exit from the harbour can only be described as eventful!  The gentleman who gracefully manoeuvred his great big hunk of motorboat on top of Mystere tried to redeem his earlier seamanship errors and helped let go of the mooring warps before waving us off on our return voyage.  With the sun setting and water levels rising the passage to the marina gate was made.  On arrival at the gate (reading a depth of 2.2 meters) there was a collection of yachts.  One French yacht coming in, and 3 yachts (including Mystere) making their way out.  The French yacht on reaching the gates decided that the water wasn’t deep enough to get in, so quickly engaged reverse, only to come to a slow standstill before spinning on her axis and going broadside in the mouth, therefore completely blocking it both as an entrance and exit!  The rather large yacht in front of us saw this escapade and consequently had to stop also, selecting reverse and quickly stopped and began to reverse up.  Mystere, with her little outboard (which although makes fantastic progress in forward) does lack the ability to manoeuvre backwards.  All of a sudden there is a screaming engine noise and reverse is selected and she continues to move forward at the same speed as before.  This forward propulsion appears to have increased due to the fact the yacht on her bow is now moving backwards at the same speed as we are moving towards them!  This could get messy!  The back of the large yacht also swings round…there is now one yacht wanting to come into the marina width ways across the mouth, a matching one the marina side, Mystere hurtling towards the side of the big one the marina side, and another 25 footer laughing from a safe distance!!  Fortunately, just at the crucial moment the propeller blades dig into the water and Mystere is propelled backwards.  Seconds later, the two yachts swing around again leaving a Mystere sized gap to squeeze through and it’s out full throttle into the open sea before the boats swing again and the gap closes once more!

The sea was flat calm, and there was no wind, so motoring was the only option on the way back.  The first half hour showed Shane trying desperately to explain and show Helen how to use the new digital camera to take a photograph rather than fuzzy, unfocussed mess or a ‘snap shot’.  This once again was a pointless exercise as once again it was like trying to see one end of a 25 metre swimming pool from the other, whilst being underwater, and if it wasn’t blurred it was too dark because the flash was off, or glowing because the flash was on and reflecting off hull or reflective clothing!<table width="100%" border=0>

</table> <p align=left>As soon as night had fallen Shane got Dave’s new ‘toy’ out to experiment with….a night scope!  This he proceeded to ‘play’ with looking from wake, to water, to houses on the coast etc etc!  Apparently it was really good and worked really well.  It must have done too because no one else got to have a go!</p>

After dark Karen was the first to go inside.  This was proven to be her biggest mistake of the trip.  The worst possible place to be on a yacht when it’s underway is down below and Karen, who is not quite the hardened sailor as the rest of the crew was no exception to this general rule!  The seasickness tablets taken two hours prior to the trip didn’t really stand a chance, and unfortunately the smell of the stove and Dave making hot drinks was just enough to tip the balance.  Tip the balance probably an understatement as she proceeded for a further 3 hours to begin the task of filling a storage box (there were no buckets or sick bags available!!).

Half an hour later, and the cold was a little too much for Helen (despite the fleece, ocean jacket, sailing trousers, wellies, ski socks, scarf, woolly hat and gloves) and she scuttled off into the aft cabin to snuggle up amongst the bedding to warm up a bit, the warning of Shane still ringing loud in her ears. “Go straight into the aft cabin to warm up and don’t look at anything…Karen has been sick!”.  This was taken literally and she raced down the hatch and past Dave, much to his amusement!  To say she has a weak stomach is more than an understatement, if there had been any hanging around down there with Karen being ill and there would be two casualties!

A securite announcement was heard over the radio stating that Lower Heads light was extinguished, this is one of the markers to look for on the way in so as to obtain some baring in the dark!  It was out with the night scope once again in an attempt to find it…this proved an impossible task! Dave was examining the surrounding area, boat and crew with a few mutterings of annoyance… finally he asks ‘How do I turn it on?’ after Shane explained the intricacies of using the device and Dave arguing that he had tried all that, Shane sorted the problem by taking the lens cap off!! Although infinately better, no definate sighting was made and reinforcements were brought in…a 3.5 million candle power torch!  This was more useful and the marker sighted, so it was relaxation time for the crew again now that they had confirmed their position.

At just after 1:00 am Mystere was moored on her pontoon once again.  A brisk walk in the cold followed for Aidy, Dave and Shane to bring Shane’s car-which was parked the other side of the harbour.  This is normally a nice walk in the daytime, but at 1:00 am, in the cold and with sailing gear and wellies on it’s a bit of a different matter!

With the car back, Karen now feeling much better and Helen woken up after falling asleep in a tangled mess of duvet it was adventure over and back to the various houses for a well deserved and decent nights sleep in a proper bed…all except Dave who hadn’t had enough of a wild time and proceeded into town to begin warming himself up from the inside out…alcohol!!